My Holiday Guilt

I've been away. I was on holiday in Portugal for my annual 3-4 week long trip this month but admittedly, I've been away from my blog for much longer. I've felt a bit meh recently, especially towards social media and my work over the past month in particular. Summer time tends to be quite slow generally speaking, I find myself with a smaller workload and less engagement across social media which I attribute to the fact a lot of us spend time away on holiday in August. And well, I've come to realise that when I go on holiday I feel guilty.

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Feeling guilty towards my personal life

My holiday in Portugal is spent with family, I go away with my parents (I have no siblings) and spend the majority of my days with family members and very few friends - I genuinely have no pals in Portugal, and even if I did, I can't imagine they would want to spend their summer taking photos of me!

Having to ask my parents to drive somewhere pretty so I can have a cute backdrop for my Instagram photos and then having to ask them to stick around and take photos for me too - both of which take time out of limited holiday time (provided 3-4 weeks isn't a short space of time by any means but still, I'm sure you know what I mean) is something I don't want to impose on them. For my parents, it's pretty much their only holiday and I hate putting the pressure on my family for the sake of a single Instagram image or a blog post or video.

Feeling guilty towards my work life

But then comes the work guilt, I feel guilty for letting my work slip as a result. I keep a schedule and try to plan as much as I can in advance so when things aren't going to plan, it's not a good sign. I usually have things planned out in advance and try to create some sort of schedule because I'm the type of person who needs to have a schedule in order to get any work done. So I'm sure you can imagine that when this doesn't happen, I don't feel good about it.

I worry that I'm not creating and working on enough content to keep myself going (because this is my full-time job after all) and I know that it all falls on me to earn a living. When I'm not able to create content, I worry that it will be detrimental to me and my career and to put it simply, that scares me.

Feeling guilty towards my audience

Finally, I feel guilty towards you. Guilty that I haven't been sharing new content and guilty that I haven't been able to produce the content I promised beforehand. I guess I have partly myself to blame for this one because before I went on holiday I listed all the things I wanted to do: weekly blog posts, weekly vlogs on my YouTube channel and daily photos on Instagram. I don't think I stuck to any of those.

The only reason I'm able to do this and call myself a full-time blogger is because of you. You who are interested in the posts I write on my blog, the photos I share on Instagram and the videos I upload onto YouTube. So when I don't have the content to share with you, I feel like I've let you down and that's the last thing I want to do because your opinions are so important to me and I value your time and support so much.

I don't want to make any promises about what's coming next or what I'm working on because I just don't know. I'm hoping to share more blog posts - which I'm sure I've said a thousand times before - and continue creating other content for you but we'll see what I manage! As always, I hope you stick around.

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Straw hat - Southbeach via ASOS
Brown polka dot midi dress - (c/o) Boohoo
Basket bag - (c/o) Topshop
Sandals - (c/o) Office via House of Fraser
[Photos taken by Faith]